Here are words you’ll never hear spoken in Forest Park:

“Not tonight guys, I’m going home right after the game.”

“The Forest Park cops need to get tougher with suspects.”

“Can’t wait to fire up the riding mower.”

“There are so many spaces, I just don’t know where to park.”

“Hey, there’s a really fun street festival in Oak Park, want to go?”

“OK teeballers, let’s play two today.”

“We’ll start with the tofu.”

“This is the petition all the bar owners are signing against Mayor Calderone.”

“I’d love to be buried in Forest Park – but where?”

“OK, so we’ll meet for shopping on Roosevelt Road.”

“Excuse me, this margarita is way too strong.”

“Hey guys, wouldn’t you rather hang out on the corner by my house.”

“We moved here to get into the Proviso high school district.”

“Brown Cow Ice Cream – never!”

“I hope the Jehovah Witnesses know we’re home.”

“That’s the last time I get the garlic fries.”

“We’re not taking out any more home equity loans.”

“I can’t wait to buy my first vehicle sticker.”

“I’d love to get my hair done in Forest Park – but where?”

“Let me get this straight: you’re asking me to put out my cigar?”

“I love what they’ve done with the Roos Building.”

“It’s quiet in Forest Park – too quiet.”

“Hey somebody else play first base, my hands are killing me.”

“The guys in Speedos? Yeah, that’s why I go to the Aquatic Center.”

“I’ll have fresh fruit instead of the fries.”

“I love what they’ve done with the abandoned gas station at Desplaines and Madison.”

“Vinyl siding on my historic home? No way.”

“The Forest Park Review – what a bargain!”