Every year my family gathers around the television set to view the premier of the best television commercials for the North American market. These ads are super bad (…not bad meaning bad, but bad meaning good).

This year we took in the event with our church family on the big screen television. Preparation claims half of the battle. Chicken wings, cheese cake, cookies, fruit and veggie trays, soda pop, and tortilla chips satisfied the appetite while we awaited the first string of media promo clips. Most entries travel down the road of outrageously funny or skip thru the valley of heart warming and cute. The only draw back to this annual ritual is that the network keeps showing football highlights between the commercials! Oh well, TV programming executives never claimed to be brain surgeons.

Of course the TIVO recorded each and every mini-production so we could later playback the best and the worst. Each 30 second clip cost the sponsoring company $2.7 million to air during prime time. Any failure could mean instant unemployment for the creative team that convinced a stingy business executive to break the marketing budget. I figured the company could have paid me $2.7 million and I would dash to every single household in the country and personally demonstrate their product. As a matter of fact, I would settle for $1.7 million and commit to a visual demonstration via YouTube or MySpace. For my final offer of $300,000, I might even sprint down the Eisenhower Expressway during rush hour in a bathing suit with a high quality Kinko’s copy of the product. Take my word for it, that’s a bargain.

Anyone that has watched the Tom & Jerry cartoon as a child (or an adult) would love the Doritos mouse trap commercial. The clip highlights the attempt of a civilized, well-educated, tuxedo-wearing, homeowner to catch a tiny mouse with a Doritos cheese chip. The Doritos chip bait works too well. A 6-foot 220-pound mouse bursts out of the wall and proceeds to beat down the homeowner for the entire bag of delicious snack munch. Who says a cornered mouse will never fight. (The Forest Park Review does not condone violence against homeowners or mice).

On an animal friendly note, the Bridgestone tire company hilariously demonstrated how many squirrels have avoided road kill status due to the great wet weather traction of their wheels.

Bud Light had multiple spots showing how their product could provide super powers such as flying or breathing fire. One drunk user gets swallowed up by a jet engine in a mid air mishap. Another fire breathing drunken user almost burns up his girlfriend and her house when his cat allergy kicks in. This truly did reconfirm that drinking and anything is a terrible combination.

Old school finally wins out when Charlie Brown (hot air balloon) receives a refreshing Coca Cola. Underdog and Stewie (of “The Family Guy”) are left hanging with their thirst unquenched.

Sometimes the best commercials never air on television. I could have won an award for filming my husband’s attempt to explain the Victoria’s Secret Valentine’s Day commercial to my 11-year-old son. How do you spell S-T-U-T-T-E-R?

If you managed to miss this bowl of super commercials or could not bear to sit thru those annoying sports highlights, go check out all of the original clips at sports.aol.com/nfl/superbowlads. Perhaps the Madison Street merchants can pool together next year and purchase a spot.