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Roses are red, violets are blue. Thanks for the kiss; it was laced with the flu.

Gave love to my job and it gave me a pink slip. Gave love to my boat and it sailed away.

Gave love to my vacation home and it gave me a foreclosure notice. Gave love to my Haagen-Dazs and it gave me 10 pounds in the thighs and mid section. Gave love to myself and I received joy that no one could take a way.

Love is not only blind, it’s dumb and dumber. It’s hiding in the alley waiting to mug you. Stupid Cupid doesn’t know that I carry a Taser in my purse.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Crazy in love. Mark an “X” here if you want me to be your girlfriend. Mark an “X” here if you want me to stalk you 24/7 and slash your brand new tires. Love is always having a choice.

Redeem a love coupon for a sincere compliment. Redeem a love coupon for a 10 minute massage. Redeem a love coupon for a child-free afternoon. Redeem a love coupon for a full week of Sundays.

Anyone who says “love conquers all” never met your mother-in-law.

Love never fails.

I admit it! I ate all the green M&M’s and loved every bite.

For God so loved the world …

Unconditional love is scooping the poop and rooting for the Cubs.

True love starts when your 20-20 vision focuses on my inner beauty.

An excerpt from my first true Valentine’s Day: “My love for you will always flash like a hot fire. No river or waterfall on earth will be able to quench my desire for you. Among 100 queens, your beauty sets you apart like a swan among a flock of buzzards. The only thing to exceed the beauty of your physical being is the kindness of your soul. I admire the way you clothe your self with strength and dignity. I am humbled how you manage to live without fear of the future or regrets from the past.”

Excerpt from my last Valentine’s Day: “Honey, can you pass the Doritos?”

Don’t confuse the feeling of indigestion with the feeling of meeting your future ex-husband.

Young love says we can conquer the world. Old love says I forgive you. Wise love says sign the prenuptial agreement. Foolish love says no one will be able to tell that’s cubic zirconium. Thoughtful love says I brought you flowers and a McFlurry.

Porsches are red, diamonds are clear, forgetting these facts leads to the couch downstairs.

How do I love thee … let me count the ways. The twinkle in your eye, the pep in your step and, of course, the junk in your trunk.

Andrea Blaylock has lived in Forest Park since 1994. When she isn’t chasing her four kids and husband, she is serving on the library board of trustees, majoring in apparel design at Dominican University and she says, enjoying every day with which God has blessed her.