An early morning fight on Madison ended with an Aurora man being charged with battery after he allegedly punched someone for touching his motorcycle.

Police were patrolling the street shortly before 2 a.m. April 4 when a woman ran up to the squad car screaming that her boyfriend had been struck while inside Deko’s restaurant, according to a department report. The assailant was riding a yellow motorcycle and had just left the area, heading east. Police stopped the bike on Harlem, and the driver immediately confessed, police said.

“I did it officer, I did it,” 29-year-old Patrick Szymanski allegedly said. “I hit him for grabbing and pulling on my bike. It was some drunk yuppie guy pulling on my bike.”

Szymanski was taken into custody. At the police station, the victim told police he was standing by the motorcycle reminiscing with friends about his riding days. He then went into the restaurant, and out of nowhere was punched in the nose.

Silly officer, that’s my fake

A 20-year-old Elmwood Park resident was cited for trespassing and unlawful possession of alcohol after police were called to remove him from a bar on Madison.

Mauro Caldarulo apparently had refused to leave Slainte at about 1:30 a.m. April 4 when the bartender there called police for help. When authorities arrived, Caldarulo was sitting at the bar drinking a beer, according to a department report. He was escorted outside the tavern and asked for his identification – and handed over two IDs.

“When asked why they were different, Caldarulo stated, ‘that’s my fake,'” police noted in their report.

Caldarulo was issued a pair of local citations and security personnel at the bar were warned to be more careful in checking identification.

Alleged theft fuels addiction

Shortly before 7 p.m. on March 30, police were called to the CVS store at 7216 Circle for a possible theft. When they arrived, neighboring Oak Park police had already secured the suspect in handcuffs, and an employee of the store relayed that he was able to catch the would-be thief before he got too far.

Ryan Jones, 36, of Chicago, was accused of trying to pilfer more than $390 worth of merchandise by hiding it under his shirt. It was not clear from the police report which items Jones was accused of stealing, but the man claimed he intended to use the stolen goods to support his drug habit.

While at the police station, authorities reported, Jones allegedly admitted to using seven or eight bags of heroin per day. At a “place in the city” he is able to trade stolen goods directly for heroin, Jones allegedly told police. He was on parole for retail theft at the time of his arrest, and was charged with a felony.

Teen boasts of drug use

A 19-year-old Lombard resident was cited for marijuana possession after police allegedly found a small quantity of the drug in the man’s pocket, and another stash hidden behind the door of his vehicle’s gas tank.

Police stopped Deandre Presswood at 1 a.m. April 2 for driving along Harlem without a license plate on the front of his car. As the officer walked to the driver’s side, he allegedly saw a passenger in the car hide a brown paper bag between the two front seats of the vehicle. Both Presswood and the passenger were ordered out of the vehicle and searched, according to a department report. During a search for weapons, police allegedly recovered the first bag of marijuana from Presswood’s pocket.

“I’m fixin’ to smoke that [expletive] tonight,” Presswood allegedly said.

DUI suspect nearly hit squad car

A Chicago man was arrested for driving under the influence March 30 after police watched him drive partially over a sidewalk, and almost strike the squad car that eventually stopped him.

Thirty-one-year-old Juan Pascual was taken into custody at about 2 a.m. after allegedly failing several field sobriety tests. Police noted they had also observed him weaving dangerously along Desplaines, crossing into the oncoming lane so severely that he nearly struck a car parked on that side of the street.

Pascual did not have an Illinois driver’s license to show police, but did hand over a Guatemalan identification. It was not made clear in the department report whether Pascual had been issued any U.S. identifications.

While in custody, Pascual allegedly refused to take an alcohol-breath test. In addition to the DUI charge, he was also cited for driving without a valid license, improper lane usage and other moving violations.

These items were taken from the records of the Forest Park Police Department between March 30 and April 5, and represent only a portion of the incidents to which police responded. Anyone named in this report has only been charged with a crime. The cases have not been adjudicated.

-Compiled by Josh Adams