During ten years of writing this column, the hardest part has always been coming up with worthy topics. Here’s a list of rejected ones:

  • My sock drawer: a colorful overview.
  • Another New Yorker article I read that no one cares about.
  • Great times I’ve had at Oak Park street festivals.
  • Bits and pieces I can remember from Forest Park festivals.
  • Affordable mortgages and other urban myths.
  • My favorite flu symptoms.
  • String saving in Forest Park: a lost art.
  • Out of control shopping carts – is any parked car safe?
  • Road kill – it’s not just for breakfast anymore.
  • Manhole covers – are they really worth stealing?
  • The lighter side of bank overdraft fees.
  • That day an animal almost got into our house.
  • How adding another lane to the Eisenhower Expressway will end gridlock forever, or at least for six months.
  • Beauty parlors in Forest Park – can we ever have enough?
  • Memorable wardrobe malfunctions at the Forest Park pool.
  • The importance of higher education in village leadership, and in column writing.
  • Memories of having a car with functioning shock absorbers.
  • Rescheduling rainouts, tying player’s shoes and other keys to coaching Little League.
  • Angry letters I’ve received, and why they warm my heart.
  • How plagiarism works in the best of the times and the worst of times. 
  • From bratwurst to sushi: a dietary history of Forest Park.
  • Solitaire Scrabble and other high points of my existence.
  • Spring in Forest Park; aka Seattle without the scenery.
  • Had there been multiple valedictorians back in my day, I might have had a chance.
  • Searching for the best beets in Forest Park.
  • My favorite potholes on Desplaines and why I’ll miss swerving around them.
  • That night we went to a restaurant – a memoir.
  • Origami – the next craze to sweep Forest Park.
  • Proper lounge chair etiquette at the pool.
  • Are Ikea barstools too difficult to assemble?
  • Had that naked-in-public dream again last night.
  • The thrill of victory: the day I won a bags tournament.
  • Twenty terrific comebacks I thought up after that punk called me an old man.
  • How you can find much better columns in The Post.

OK, you get the drift. It’s fortunate that in recent months I’ve received ideas from readers. But, as you can see, I can always use more. So, if you have something to complain about or promote, I’m here for you. If there’s a Forest Parker who deserves to be honored, or a milestone that should be remembered, I’m your man. You can submit topic ideas to jrice1038@aol.com. Otherwise, I’m threatening another update on my music career.