We take you to a Forest Park bar, where the conversation is in progress:
Bud Light: Hey, did you hear that if towns don’t legalize video poker, they won’t get state construction money?
Jack & Coke: I can think of a better reason than that – this place could use a little action.
Whiskey Sour: Action? You’re not going to have anybody in here if they don’t get rid of the smoking ban. What am I gonna’ do, drive to Calumet City so I can have a smoke without freezing my butt off?
Bloody Mary: Guys, I just saw a coyote walking through the cemetery.
Bud Light: Which one?
Bloody Mary: Waldheim.
Bud Light: Geez, I left Lucifer in the backyard.
Whiskey Sour: He’s a Rottweiler. I’m sure he can take care of himself.
Jack & Coke: Lucifer is too ugly to eat. I’m more worried about my kid.
Bloody Mary: There’s no way a coyote could carry off Jason.
Jack & Coke: Hey, he’s working out. I took him to the batting cages this morning – getting ready for Little League.
Bud Light: He needs to stop bailing out at the plate.
Whiskey Sour: My Tommy used to do that. He was so afraid of the ball. Every pitch, his butt would be flying toward third.
Bud Light: What’d you do?
Whiskey Sour: I got this board and I put a screw through his right shoe, so that he had to stand in there.
Bloody Mary: I was wondering why Tommy quit.
Jack & Coke: Speaking of quitting, did you actually leave Toxic Cleanup?
Bud Light: Man, I couldn’t take wearing that space suit. Plus, I was always on-call to clean up crap in the middle of the night.
Whiskey Sour: I bet your wife isn’t happy.
Bud Light: I can’t blame her; she’s working two jobs. I looked in the paper. All they had was pizza driver and babysitting.
Bloody Mary: Why don’t you deliver pizzas? You’ll be like Santa Claus – people will be glad to see you.
Bud Light: Not if I’m late and the pizza’s cold.
Whiskey Sour: Heck, if the pizza’s cold, my tip is sub-zero.
Bloody Mary: You should get a census job, they’re hiring.
Jack & Coke: You only work every 10 years as it is.
Bud Light: I applied already but I didn’t hear back. I’m pretty sure I aced the test.
Bloody Mary: A coyote could pass that test.
Whiskey Sour: Oh, we’re back to that again. I’m going outside – anyone else ready?
Bud Light: I’m leaving. Got to check on Lucifer.
Bloody Mary: Wait a minute. We didn’t get to talk about the issues facing Forest Park.
Jack & Coke: If I wanted a serious conversation, would I be sitting here?