I don’t usually comment on national news but I was shocked by the headlines that followed the downgrading of the US credit rating:
US applies for car loan, needs Bolivia to co-sign
Congress blocks repair of White House roof until Obama gets three estimates
Tea Party celebrates collapse of US currency and return to barter system
New-car-buyer can’t wait to live in it
US seeks modification of debt payments; World Bank can’t stop laughing
More and more Americans wearing wooden barrels
US offers return of Louisiana Purchase territory to France; could really use the $19 million
Gym-shoe sandwiches increasing in popularity
Government urges seniors to check under couch cushions for additional retirement funds
Citibank’s stock jumps when Clyde Summers unexpectedly makes mortgage payment
Illegal American immigrants flooding across Mexican border
Department of Education initiates cost-cutting ‘Every Child Left Behind’ program
After Lone Star State Secedes, Rick Perry elected president of Republic of Texas
Obama gives up smoking when debit card declined during carton purchase
Republicans seek to cut more ‘entitlements’; targeting food, water and air
Venezuela offers emergency aid in exchange for more Venezuelan baseball managers
While applying for second mortgage US unable to produce a single pay stub
UN decrees the US cannot start any more wars until current three are paid for
Stock market reports shares of AAA; plus board-up service skyrocketing
Richest two percent tired of whining by bottom 98 percent
More Americans seeking careers as recipients of welfare, food stamps and Section 8 housing
Ohio reports creation of one full-time job; Iowa touts hiring of two part-timers
Calling it ‘Seward’s Folly,’ US hopes Russia will buy back Alaska
Forest Park man reports box-of-pennies fund ran out 15 minutes into retirement
John Rice is a columnist/private detective, who has seen his business and family thrive in Forest Park. He thoroughly enjoys life in the village and still gets a thrill smelling Red Hots, watching softball and strolling through cemeteries.
