A few weeks back, I opened my front door and found my neighbor raking my leaves. I was very touched by her kindness. No one asked her to rake. Instead of paying her, I promised her homemade chicken soup, which I promptly delivered. Suddenly I had slipped into the new sharing economy.
Americans are so cash-strapped many of us have begun sharing services. So I came up with a few modest ideas for making this economy grow.
If you listen to my problems (45 minutes max), I’ll bake you cookies.
If you watch Dancing with the Stars with my wife, I’ll walk your dog.
I’ll correct your term paper if you wait on hold for me with the IRS.
I’ll pick up the litter on your lawn if you make my phone stop playing music.
If you find my reading glasses, I’ll buy you ice cream.
I’ll shovel your sidewalk if you stop your child from screaming.
If you put my car away at night, I promise to finally get your name right.
I’ll help your kid with his or her homework in exchange for a good column idea.
If you can get the pilot lit on my space heater, I’ll wash your car.
If you go to Portillo’s for me, I promise to give you a bite of my chocolate cake.
I’ll buy you a drink on Madison Street if you visit my website.
If you can change the clock in my car, I’ll write your next letter of recommendation.
Buy a copy of the Review and I’ll invite you to be my Facebook friend.
If you read my novel, I’ll babysit your kids.
If you play chess with me, I’ll look at your vacation pictures.
If you give me a lift to the Blue Line, I’ll compliment your hair.
If you play Scrabble with me, I’ll re-name my dog in your honor.
I’ll put air in your tires, after you teach me how to Tweet.
Match my socks and I’ll stop deleting your emails.
It’s too late this year: But if you invite me to Thanksgiving, I’ll do the dishes.
John Rice is a columnist/private detective, who has seen his business and family thrive in Forest Park. He thoroughly enjoys life in the village and still gets a thrill smelling Red Hots, watching softball and strolling through cemeteries.