In these uncertain times, we need the wisdom of proverbs more than ever. For example:

  • The pen is mightier than the sword but they’re both pretty sharp.
  • When the going gets tough, it’s time to take a nap.
  • You can’t judge a book by its cover, but it does account for 20% of sales.
  • No man is an island, even those people living south of Roosevelt Road.
  • The early bird catches the worm, but so does the early fish.
  • A watched pot never boils; well, actually it does.
  • If it ain’t broke, let me try to fix it. 
  • One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, especially in Forest Park.
  • If you want something done right, make sure the contractor gets a permit. 
  • Absence makes the heart grow fonder; so does absinthe. 
  • As Ogden Nash said, “A penny saved is impossible.”
  • Practice makes perfect — but don’t tell that to Allan “We’re talking about practice?” Iverson.
  • People who live in glass houses must be freezing.
  • Better late than never will not get you out of trouble with your spouse. 
  • A picture is worth a thousand words, but no one prints pictures anymore.
  • If necessity is the mother of invention, who’s the father?
  • Good things come to those who wait, but how many lotto tickets is this guy going to buy?
  • Don’t count your chickens in one basket, or something like that.
  • If you can’t beat ’em, join a health club. 
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, along with that little white stuff. 
  • Cleanliness is next to dog food in Aisle 4. 
  • Easy come, easy go. I just don’t get the easy come part. 
  • Don’t bite the hand that feeds you — or anyone’s hand for that matter.
  • Too many cooks … use too much salt. 
  • A bird in hand is disgusting. 
  • Prepare for the worst because a chain is only as strong as its weakest link and all good things come to an end.
  • There’s no place like home, but I’m sure there are houses with better carpeting. 
  • Never look a horse in the mouth, period.
  • Actions speak louder than words, but no one speaks louder than Trump.
  • Even with too many cooks, you can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs.
  • Beggars can’t be choosers but they need to come up with better stories.
  • You can’t always get what you want — unless you’re the Rolling Stones. 
  • God helps those who help set up folding chairs.
  • There’s no such thing as a free lunch, which is why we have dollar menus.
  • And, finally, here’s my own: 
  • Deadlines lead to desperate columns.

 John Rice is a columnist/private detective, who has seen his business and family thrive in Forest Park. He thoroughly enjoys life in the village and still gets a thrill smelling Red Hots, watching softball and strolling through cemeteries.

John Rice is a columnist/novelist who has seen his family thrive in Forest Park. He has published two books set in the village: The Ghost of Cleopatra and The Doll with the Sad Face.

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