In these uncertain times, we need the wisdom of proverbs more than ever. For example:
- The pen is mightier than the sword but they’re both pretty sharp.
- When the going gets tough, it’s time to take a nap.
- You can’t judge a book by its cover, but it does account for 20% of sales.
- No man is an island, even those people living south of Roosevelt Road.
- The early bird catches the worm, but so does the early fish.
- A watched pot never boils; well, actually it does.
- If it ain’t broke, let me try to fix it.
- One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, especially in Forest Park.
- If you want something done right, make sure the contractor gets a permit.
- Absence makes the heart grow fonder; so does absinthe.
- As Ogden Nash said, “A penny saved is impossible.”
- Practice makes perfect — but don’t tell that to Allan “We’re talking about practice?” Iverson.
- People who live in glass houses must be freezing.
- Better late than never will not get you out of trouble with your spouse.
- A picture is worth a thousand words, but no one prints pictures anymore.
- If necessity is the mother of invention, who’s the father?
- Good things come to those who wait, but how many lotto tickets is this guy going to buy?
- Don’t count your chickens in one basket, or something like that.
- If you can’t beat ’em, join a health club.
- Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, along with that little white stuff.
- Cleanliness is next to dog food in Aisle 4.
- Easy come, easy go. I just don’t get the easy come part.
- Don’t bite the hand that feeds you — or anyone’s hand for that matter.
- Too many cooks … use too much salt.
- A bird in hand is disgusting.
- Prepare for the worst because a chain is only as strong as its weakest link and all good things come to an end.
- There’s no place like home, but I’m sure there are houses with better carpeting.
- Never look a horse in the mouth, period.
- Actions speak louder than words, but no one speaks louder than Trump.
- Even with too many cooks, you can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs.
- Beggars can’t be choosers but they need to come up with better stories.
- You can’t always get what you want — unless you’re the Rolling Stones.
- God helps those who help set up folding chairs.
- There’s no such thing as a free lunch, which is why we have dollar menus.
- And, finally, here’s my own:
- Deadlines lead to desperate columns.
John Rice is a columnist/private detective, who has seen his business and family thrive in Forest Park. He thoroughly enjoys life in the village and still gets a thrill smelling Red Hots, watching softball and strolling through cemeteries.
