Spending time with grandchildren reminds me of the advantages of being a kid. It also reminds me that being an adult has some compensations:
- Kids have to go to bed early. Adults can stay up as long as it takes for the Cubs game to end.
- Kids love listening to spooky stories. Adults call it “watching the news.”
- Kids can have imaginary friends. Adults only appear to have imaginary friends, talking on the phone to someone who isn’t here.
- Kids use play as a form of work. Adults use work as a form of play.
- Adults spend a lot of time staring at their phones. Sadly, kids are doing the same thing.
- Kids need someone to dress them. As an adult, I can now dress myself — if someone lays out a matching outfit for me.
- Kids are praised for being cute. At best, adults will hear they “look good.”
- Kids pretend to be sick to stay home from school. Adults call the boss using their “scratchy” voice.
- Kids believe they can grow up to be whatever they want. Young adults can’t even find a job in the field they studied. Older adults can’t find a job period.
- Kids love when they’re stopped by a train. Adults don’t feel quite the same way.
- Kids have cereal for breakfast and pizza for dinner. Adults can do the complete opposite.
- On Halloween, kids have to dress up in costumes and go out in the cold to beg candy from strangers. Adults can stay home and eat the kids’ haul after they’re asleep.
- Benadryl is to kids what beer is to adults. Both are calming and can cause sleepiness.
- Kids love going to the playground. Adults have to push the swing.
- Kids make friends so easily. Adults can’t even keep up with their close friends.
- Kids are forced to take naps, while adults volunteer eagerly.
- Kids use crawling and walking as a form of physical therapy. Sooner or later, adults need the same thing.
- Kids get the summer off. Adults barely notice the change of seasons.
- Kids enjoy home-cooked meals. Adults have to cook them.
- Kids love snowstorms, dreaming of snowmen, snowballs and sledding. Adults can only think of shoveling, scraping and sliding around on the street.
- Kids just have grades to worry about. Adults have bills.
- Kids have monsters keeping them awake at night. Adults have responsibilities, which are just as scary.
- Kids think they’re never going to die. Adults think every ache is cancer.
- Kids can’t wait to grow up. Adults wish they hadn’t.
- Kids can ignore toxic political campaigns. Adults have to vote for someone.
- Kids can enjoy the perks of Forest Park. These perks only increase when they become adults.
John Rice is a columnist/private detective, who has seen his business and family thrive in Forest Park. He thoroughly enjoys life in the village and still gets a thrill smelling Red Hots, watching softball and strolling through cemeteries.
