Spending time with grandchildren reminds me of the advantages of being a kid. It also reminds me that being an adult has some compensations: 

  • Kids have to go to bed early. Adults can stay up as long as it takes for the Cubs game to end.
  • Kids love listening to spooky stories. Adults call it “watching the news.” 
  • Kids can have imaginary friends. Adults only appear to have imaginary friends, talking on the phone to someone who isn’t here.
  • Kids use play as a form of work. Adults use work as a form of play.
  • Adults spend a lot of time staring at their phones. Sadly, kids are doing the same thing. 
  • Kids need someone to dress them. As an adult, I can now dress myself — if someone lays out a matching outfit for me.
  • Kids are praised for being cute. At best, adults will hear they “look good.”
  • Kids pretend to be sick to stay home from school. Adults call the boss using their “scratchy” voice.
  • Kids believe they can grow up to be whatever they want. Young adults can’t even find a job in the field they studied. Older adults can’t find a job period. 
  • Kids love when they’re stopped by a train. Adults don’t feel quite the same way. 
  • Kids have cereal for breakfast and pizza for dinner. Adults can do the complete opposite.
  • On Halloween, kids have to dress up in costumes and go out in the cold to beg candy from strangers. Adults can stay home and eat the kids’ haul after they’re asleep.
  • Benadryl is to kids what beer is to adults. Both are calming and can cause sleepiness.
  • Kids love going to the playground. Adults have to push the swing. 
  • Kids make friends so easily. Adults can’t even keep up with their close friends.
  • Kids are forced to take naps, while adults volunteer eagerly.
  • Kids use crawling and walking as a form of physical therapy. Sooner or later, adults need the same thing.
  • Kids get the summer off. Adults barely notice the change of seasons. 
  • Kids enjoy home-cooked meals. Adults have to cook them. 
  • Kids love snowstorms, dreaming of snowmen, snowballs and sledding. Adults can only think of shoveling, scraping and sliding around on the street.
  • Kids just have grades to worry about. Adults have bills.  
  • Kids have monsters keeping them awake at night. Adults have responsibilities, which are just as scary.
  • Kids think they’re never going to die. Adults think every ache is cancer. 
  • Kids can’t wait to grow up. Adults wish they hadn’t.
  • Kids can ignore toxic political campaigns. Adults have to vote for someone. 
  • Kids can enjoy the perks of Forest Park. These perks only increase when they become adults. 

John Rice is a columnist/private detective, who has seen his business and family thrive in Forest Park. He thoroughly enjoys life in the village and still gets a thrill smelling Red Hots, watching softball and strolling through cemeteries.

John Rice

John Rice is a columnist/private detective, who has seen his business and family thrive in Forest Park. He thoroughly enjoys life in the village and still gets a thrill smelling Red Hots, watching softball...