Under the proverbial gun, it's time for proverbs

Opinion: Columns

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter

By John Rice

Columnist / Staff reporter

As John recovers from the election, here is a column that ran in 2016. How the world has, and hasn't, changed:

In these uncertain times, we need the wisdom of proverbs more than ever. For example:

  • The pen is mightier than the sword, but they're both pretty sharp.
  • When the going gets tough, it's time to take a nap.
  • You can't judge a book by its cover but it does account for 20 percent of sales.
  • No man is an island, not even those people living south of Roosevelt.
  • A watched pot never boils — well, actually it does.
  • If it ain't broke, let me try to fix it.
  • One man's trash is another man's treasure, especially in the alleys of Forest Park.
  • If you want something done right, make sure the contractor gets a permit.
  • Absence makes the heart grow fonder; so does absinthe.
  • As Ogden Nash said, "A penny saved is impossible."
  • People who live in glass houses must be freezing.
  • Better late than never will not get you out of trouble with your spouse.
  • A picture is worth a thousand words but no one prints pictures anymore.
  • If necessity is the mother of invention, who's the father?
  • Good things come to those who wait but how many lotto tickets is this guy going to buy?
  • Don't count your chickens in one basket, or something like that.
  • If you can't beat 'em, join a health club.
  • Cleanliness is next to dog food in Aisle 4.
  • Easy come, easy go. I just don't get the "easy come" part.
  • Don't bite the hand that feeds you, or anyone's hand for that matter.
  • Too many cooks — use too much salt.
  • A bird in hand is disgusting.
  • There's no place like home, but I'm sure there are houses with better carpeting.
  • Never look a horse in the mouth, period.
  • Beggars can't be choosers, but they need to come up with better stories.
  • God helps those who help set up folding chairs.
  • There's no such thing as a free lunch, which is why we have dollar menus.
  • The squeaky wheel also turns sideways when you're trying to push the cart.
  • Hope for the steak, but prepare for the wurst.
  • Don't keep your friends close — or anyone else for that matter.
  • Actions speak louder than words, especially when you're using a leaf blower.
  • There's no time like the present to put off painting the porch.
  • Beauty is in the eye of people who obviously don't own a mirror.
  • Two heads are better than one, but only if they're both wearing masks.
  • The grass is always greener at marijuana dispensaries.
  • Desperate deadlines call for desperate columns.



Love the Review?

Become our partner in independent community journalism

Thanks for turning to Forest Park Review and ForestParkReview.com. We love our thousands of digital-only readers. Now though we're asking you to partner up in paying for our reporters and photographers who report this news. It had to happen, right?

On the plus side, we're giving you a simple way, and a better reason, to join in. We're now a non-profit -- Growing Community Media -- so your donation is tax deductible. And signing up for a monthly donation, or making a one-time donation, is fast and easy.

No threats from us. The news will be here. No paywalls or article countdowns. We're counting on an exquisite mix of civic enlightenment and mild shaming. Sort of like public radio.

Claim your bragging rights. Become a digital member.

Donate Now

Reader Comments

1 Comment - Add Your Comment

Note: This page requires you to login with Facebook to comment.

Comment Policy

Eileen Gaughan  

Posted: November 16th, 2020 2:03 PM

Very funny column.

Facebook Connect

Community Guide 2019 - 2020

To view the full print edition of the Forest Park Review 2019 - 2020 Community Guide, please click here.

Quick Links

Sign-up to get the latest news updates for Forest Park.

MultimediaContact us
Submit Letter To The Editor
Place a Classified Ad

Latest Comments