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The Bible has Proverbs and so does Forest Park:

One man’s garbage is another man’s treasure.  You should check out the chair we found in the alley.

Brick streets may be bumpy but at least they don’t form potholes.

Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler; but hard liquor really keeps the police busy.

Spare the rod and you won’t be investigated by D.C.F.S.

A watched pot never boils ” or in my case a house next door never sells and a house being built across the alley never gets finished.

You can’t tell a community by its village council ” we’re not all Italian and Irish, are we?

You also can’t tell that a town’s schools are predominately black by the racial makeup of its school board.

“Better a dry crust with peace and quiet, than a house full of feasting with strife.” ” pass the macaroni and cheese, please.

Note to YMCA: Build it and we’ll come.  We have no place else to go.

People who live in glass houses probably weren’t paying attention to the developer’s plans.

“Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life,” so why do we want to change Social Security?

“A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who pours out lies will perish.”  At least that’s the position being taken by District 219’s Emmanuel “Chris” Welch against his critics.

A new broom sweeps clean ” hey, check out the power broom we found in the alley.

“‘It’s no good, it’s no good!'” says the buyer; then off he goes and boasts about his purchase” ” so much for bargain hunting at Wal-Mart.

“If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and not be answered.”  This is a good argument for Forest Park adopting a sister-city in an impoverished area ” maybe in Thailand or the Sudan.

Those who ignore the history in our cemeteries are doomed to repeat it.

“Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house ” too much of you, and he will hate you.”  Well, why did he buy a high-definition TV, if he doesn’t want me coming over to watch the game?

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, or in my experience, teach a new dog any tricks.

A lottery ticket in hand is probably worth as much as the two you threw away in the bush.

“In the end [wine] bites like a snake and poisons like a viper.  You will be like one sleeping on the high seas, lying on top of the rigging.”  In other words, drink responsibly.

Everyone is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day, which in Forest Park begins on March 5.

John Rice

John Rice is a columnist/private detective, who has seen his business and family thrive in Forest Park. He thoroughly enjoys life in the village and still gets a thrill smelling Red Hots, watching softball...