Forget future resolutions that may never come true, I’d rather look back at what I learned in 2006. For instance, I learned that:

  • A bunch of neighbors can band together to block a development that would have desecrated their block.
  • An immigration-rights march could be so enormous it could paralyze the Loop and keep me from my appointed rounds.
  • Never go cheap on eyeglasses and haircuts, the only blessing being that the glasses are so bad, I can’t see my reflection.
  • What we called the front room, used to be the parlor, because that’s where family wakes were held. Once we got the handle on infectious disease, we started calling it the living room.
  • You can turn Antarctica into the Sahara by installing a wall-mounted gas heater in your basement that connects to the furnace.
  • Parking lots and condos trump single-family homes.
  • A sonic mouse device will send the critters stampeding out of your house holding tiny paws over their ears.
  • A street can have new upscale shops and businesses every time you walk down it.
  • Supporting new political candidates for office, just because they’re fresh faces, is just as bad as turning against competent incumbents because we’re tired of looking at them.
  • In a military strategy book I learned that even perfectly planned battles can lead to disaster, and that you also have to plan what you’re going to do after you win.
  • If someone wrongs us, we don’t have to choose between sad and mad. That gives the person power over us. It’s best to dredge up some sympathetic thoughts about the perpetrator.
  • It’s not how much you’re paid; it’s when you get paid that’s important. Wait, I learn that every year.
  • E-mails have replaced phone calls, which replaced face-to-face conversation. Computer cams will replace e-mails.
  • It’s a sign of the times that the belated birthday card section at Hallmark keeps growing.
  • Attention bank tellers: your job title comes from the Old English word tellen, which means to count.
  • You can have cracked mirrors fixed and you can replace a broken oven bulb, but the check engine light must stay on.
  • Based on my physical condition, I can say that 50 is the new 70.
  • Forest Park has an incredibly rich history that even outsiders find fascinating.
  • Elephants are more attractive than cows and far superior to pigs.
  • Writing can save you a lot of money on medication and therapy.