A man suspected of stealing booze pleaded with police not to arrest him, according to a department report, but to no avail.

Shortly before 10 a.m. on Dec. 12, an officer responded to a call for a retail theft at the CVS on the 7200 block of Circle. As he arrived at the store, he recognized Kenneth Dinnon, a Bolingbrook resident with whom he has had “many prior” encounters, the officer said in his report. Dinnon was being followed out of the store by employees who were waving to get the officer’s attention.

Dinnon, 43, had apparently urinated in his pants and shoved a bottle of vodka down the front of them.

According to a store employee, Dinnon has been told repeatedly not to enter the store. On this occasion, the suspect allegedly set off the alarm system while exiting. He stopped, removed several items from his clothing and then tried to leave again. The alarm was again tripped and Dinnon continued out the doors, according to the report.

When confronted by police, Dinnon allegedly said that he “cannot get arrested again.” In writing up the incident, the officer quipped that “as it turns out, Dinnon can get arrested again. I arrested Dinnon for retail theft and trespass.”

Brawler caught on warrant

Shortly before 1 a.m. on Dec. 10, police were called to a fight on Madison in which two men were wrestling one another in the street, according to a police report. Authorities arrived on the 7400 block to find Jason Bennet, 26, of Plainfield, and Joseph Rostkowski, 25, of Forest Park. Both men said they had been drinking and meant no harm.

However, authorities ran a quick background check on the men and found Rostkowski was wanted on an outstanding warrant in Ottawa for battery. He was taken into custody and released on bond.

Man charged for terrible aim

A 21-year-old Brookfield resident was apparently caught urinating on the floor of a bar on Madison at about 1:30 a.m.

According to police, Timothy Beckman was spotted by a bartender at the Shortstop Lounge relieving himself on the floor near a back door. When he confronted Beckman, the man fled, but was seen getting into a dark car parked down the street. Police spotted the suspect and issued him a citation for disorderly conduct.

Admittedly, he’s a ‘pain in the ass’

During the early morning hours of Dec. 10, a convenience store clerk temporarily closed his shop, much to the chagrin of 45-year-old Michael Schartel.

According to a department report, Schartel pounded incessantly on the glass doors of the 7-Eleven on Harlem, despite a sign informing customers the doors would reopen at 4 a.m. When the clerk told Schartel to come back later, the man allegedly made a handgun gesture with his fingers and pointed at the clerk. The employee called 911.

When police arrived to sort out the incident, Schartel, an Oak Park resident, reportedly explained that he is a self-described “pain in the ass.” He was charged with one count of disorderly conduct.

Sleepy suspect charged with DUI

A man found slumped at the wheel of an idling car was charged with driving under the influence of alcohol Dec. 14, and was apparently so intoxicated that he wasn’t sure how it was that he arrived where police discovered him.

According to a department report, 48-year-old Robert Brennan, of Chicago, was found asleep inside his 2008 Lexus shortly after midnight. The car was running and the lights were on as the vehicle sat on the 7400 block of Madison. However, the vehicle’s hazard lights were not activated. Through the window police allegedly spotted an open can of beer in the center console.

Authorities were able to rouse Brennan and asked if he was OK. The man said he was a little tired, but smelled of alcohol and slurred his speech, according to police. When asked to step out of the car, he allegedly wobbled and leaned on the vehicle. Brennan reportedly said that he had been drinking, but could not recall how many drinks he had consumed.

“I don’t even know how I got here,” Brennan allegedly said.

Icy road conditions prevented the officer from conducting field-sobriety tests on the scene, but Brennan was taken into custody on suspicion of driving under the influence. At the station the suspect refused to take any sobriety tests, including a Breathalyzer. In addition to the DUI charge, Brennan was also cited for parking illegally and transporting an open container of alcohol.

These items were taken from the records of the Forest Park Police Department between Dec. 8 and Dec. 15, and represent only a portion of the incidents to which police responded. Anyone named in this report has only been charged with a crime. The cases have not been adjudicated.

-Compiled by Josh Adams