To my mind, most people are surprisingly confident their experience of existence is the one true way, and it’s important to them that you agree. Mostly I don’t get along great with either of those attitudes, so I’m not here to pick fights about the nature of reality today. I don’t believe there’s much reason to try and deduce the realness of one’s chosen reality anyway, when you could be spending time enjoying it instead. But I have to update something, so first please allow me to remind you where I’m coming from.

Imagine a crisp autumn day on Madison Street. Sunny but cool, light-jacket weather. People are strolling. Not lounging outside with coffee or cake — it’s too cold for that — but ambling along agreeably, maybe a few errands on foot, maybe walking the dog. If you were to go up to one of those people on the street, someone you did not know and who did not know you, and you were to say to them this:

“This isn’t real. None of it. Think about it. You can tell, can’t you? None of this is real”

In that moment, here in 2025, no rational person could fairly dismiss you out of hand as a crackpot. How amazing is that? You could walk around with a sandwich board that says “THE END IS NIGH,” like a cartoon crazy, and people passing by would have to consider what you were suggesting. I posit you would even get many thoughtful nods.

None of this is real.

It’s eerily plausible, isn’t it? After Trump was elected and the Cubs won the World Series, I declared that it was no longer reasonable to ignore the possibility that we are characters in an entertainment product. 

I need to update that view.

I was thinking today that the evening news, in my head, begins today with Tom Brokaw saying something like, “January 13, 2025: Los Angeles is on fire.” I thought of that and I realized that not only are we living in a simulation, but I can tell you what kind of simulation we live in: 

We are the dystopian future in a 1980s movie. 

Think about the ’80s aesthetic. Think about a movie for those folks, set in the future. Think about the headlines you’d see in the background to set the tone: 

“No End in Sight for Los Angeles Wildfires”

“County Budget Still Reeling, Post-Pandemic”

“More States Legalize Pot, Sports Betting”

“Op-Ed: Can The President Pardon Himself?”

“Detroit Lions Favored in Super Bowl 59”

We’re an entertainment product. I’m right.

You see why I’m gonna need more than one reality.