For some Forest Park parents, the start of school brings relief. They’re tired of having kids home full time. Kids are also bored by the long break and miss their classmates.
But the start of a new school year can also be stressful for parents. Buying fresh school supplies, new school clothes and meeting new teachers.
And they also feel the heavy responsibility of becoming involved in their kid’s education.
One of the sacred truths of American education is that it’s crucial for parents to be involved in their child’s school. Imagine my shock when I recently read that parents showing up at school has little effect on how quickly their kid memorizes the multiplication tables.
According to author Amanda Ripley, the countries producing the smartest kids have little parental involvement in education. A parent in Finland, for example, attends two brief conferences with their child’s teacher during the school year. Yet Finnish kids are first in the world in science and second in reading. South Korean parents, who care a great deal about their kid’s education, rarely visit their schools.
They also don’t help them with schoolwork. In fact, a study of 13 countries showed that children of parents who helped them with their schoolwork had poorer reading scores than those who didn’t get parental help.
American parents, by contrast, are great at helping their kids with homework. If I got the chance, I “helped” way too much. Fortunately, three of my four kids didn’t want my assistance. One of them did his homework as soon as he got home from school. He took responsibility for his schoolwork, so we didn’t have to.
Besides helping with assignments, Americans are also good at showing up at their kid’s school. Last year, 90% of us attended at least one school meeting. Six out of 10 are willing to bake a cake for the fundraiser, pay the middle-school kids to wash the car, and clock out early to catch their soccer games.
My wife and I were strong adherents to this gospel. I thought it was overkill but we both attended parent-teacher conferences. We also went to their games, concerts and art fairs. The kids appreciated our presence, but it did not raise their GPA.
So how could parental assistance be a bad thing? Some parents offer help, before the kid asks for it. They go beyond coaching to “doing.” They become “editors” correcting their children’s mistakes. Our goal should not be immediate success in school but helping them build life skills for successful futures.
There are countless studies that show helping Madison with her homework is not helping her learn. Some well-intentioned parents become such strong advocates for their kids, they interfere with teachers and undermine school authority.
It turns out that parents staying home, reading to their kids, can help their grades more than showing up for the book fair. Parents reading for their own enjoyment improves their kids’ chances of becoming lifelong readers.
Schools and parents are partners in educating children, but they have different jobs. If parents model learning at home and leave the three Rs to the professionals, their kids are more likely to succeed in school.
I know an elementary school teacher, who has raised five children. With the first three, she threw her heart and soul into their schools. This had zero effect on their grades. With the last two, her shadow rarely darkened the school door and both have graduated college.
Forest Park’s parents should be commended for helping their kids with school. But if we help them too much, they’re never going to catch those kids from Finland.
