As one who defers to his children for advice on computers and the Internet, the recent hubbub over domain names escapes me. I don’t see how anyone would care if someone else purchased the rights to www.insertyournamehere.com. If it was that important to you wouldn’t you have purchased it earlier yourself? Maybe because of an election looming one year from now, the paranoia that fuels politics is raising it’s cute little head and clouding the minds of some.
Some have decried the amount of money that Mayor Calderone has raised for his campaign fund, and the amount he could raise should he decide to run for reelection. Forest Park is a small town however, and the size of a campaign war chest will not matter as much in deciding election outcomes as will hustle and organization. The recent shellacking of Chris Welch in his bid for state rep proves that. How much did he spend on yard signs and numerous mailings only to be battered at the polls? Similarly, I don’t see the need for anyone running for election in town next year to establish a web site for their campaign. It’s money not well spent.
Still, they may look into purchasing domain names to keep others from buying the names and using them for nefarious purposes. I have some suggestions:
Commissioner Mark Hosty has consistently criticized the Review for perceived inaccuracies and has made no secret his distaste for Steve Backman. He also has sung the praises of village economic consultant Anthony Bruno, who is under the microscope of a federal investigation. Given these bits of information, the most likely domain names for Commissioner Hosty would be as such:
www.IhatetheReviewunlessIneedittobashBackman.com
www.AnthonyBrunoisagenius.com
Commissioner Tim Gillian has previously been lambasted for his use of a village credit card for personal purchases while on vacation. At the same time he has struggled with (until the more recent appointment of the current Finance Director) finding and maintaining a solid Finance Director. Those points have prompted my recommendation for the following domain names:
www.thereisasaleatCostco.com.
www.IhopethisFinanceDirectorstaysforawhile.com
Commissioner Terry Steinbach has more than once brought the subject of the coalition trio having a secret meeting that violated the law. More recently, she seems to be alone on a number of issues making her wonder if maybe she didn’t get the memo about the new voting structure. Appropriate domain names to be considered are:
www.IknowthosethreeareviolatingtheOpenMeetings Actsomewhere.com
www.thesefourtoonevotesusedtobethreetotwo.com
Commissioner Patrick Doolin has taken a hit because he happens to be friends with people who the village is trying to terminate. At the same time, the animosity grows between he and Mayor Calderone, making the best domain names the following:
www.bemyfriend.gotoVegaswithme.loseyourjob.com
www.CalderoneisluckyDurkinsitsbetweenmeand
him.com
Mayor Anthony Calderone’s life was much easier during his first term. Votes were practically always unanimous and there wasn’t any infighting with those seated to the left of him. And of course, there’s the Doolin thing. The logical domain names to reflect his situation would be:
www.thissurewouldhavegonesmootherif
ThorntonandTricoccihadwon.net.
www.DoolinisluckyDurkinsitsbetweenme
andhim.com
Police Chief Jim Ryan retired from another position; taking the one in Forest Park most likely thinking it would be a nice, easy job in a nice, easy-going small town. Think again, and select this domain name:
www.Iregrettakingthisjob.org
The Police and Fire Commission seems to do a lot of listening these days, and very little talking. Thus:
www.areweallowedtospeak?.org
Defense attorney Jeanine Stevens, the Columbo of attorneys”does she charge by the hour?:
www.haveIcalledeverypoliceofficertotestifyyet?.com
Doc Ryan’s owner Jim Shaw: In other cities false claims against police officers and village officials are not tolerated, but in Forest Park.
www.Iadmittedlyliedbutseemtobegettingoffscottfree.teehee.com
Zoning Board: The ZBA does their job well. They read the ordinances, make assessments, and formulate a recommendation. They hope these recommendations will be followed by the Village Council, but are often disappointed. Their domain name should accurately reflect their position:
www.wehavedrawnalineinthesandwithregardto
variances.org
Village Council
www.ZBA?whatZBA?.org
Village Administrator Michael Sturino: I’m sure Mr. Sturino thought he was doing the right thing when he became spokesperson for all things Forest Park. Since he has taken heat for that perhaps the best website for him would be:
www.Ispeakforthevillagesodonoteventrytocontact
anydepartmentheads.org
CUinFP: The rise of Citizens United in Forest Park can be measured in many ways. One of the ways is by the number of critics it has and the attempts of these critics to draw CuinFP into the drama that is Forest Park politics. For a second domain name for CUinFP how about:
www.whatdoyoumeanwearenothelpful?.com
The Backmans: I’m almost certain it was not the Backman’s goal in life to spend each of their Monday evenings attending and videotaping meetings. Perhaps this website should be considered:
www.Iwishwehadahobbysowewouldnothavetogotoall
theseMondaynightmeetings.com
Dave Goetz: It wouldn’t be fair to leave myself off this list. So for starters how about these three:
www.Goetzisajerk.com
www.Goetzisclueless.com
www.Goetzformayorin07.org.
