Ho-lee sh*t.

Seems like someone forgot to insert the cheat sheet into Monday night’s council packets.

And so we got a big big peek behind the curtain where this council revealed themselves a fractured mess of self-interest. In fact it is so screwed up, until they became aware that they themselves might suffer political damage, there was no remorse that their wanking had caused severe collateral damage.

Liquor licenses and zoning appeals are serious coin of the realm in our charming village –  for votes and for grift – but it’s usually ignored by regular folks because, c’mon, this is Crook County and who cares about zzzzzoning.

The mis-adventures of Slainte’s zoning request for a beer garden and Scratch’s request for a liquor license have a few things in common.

  1. Back room maneuvering to reward friends and squash enemies, while avoiding the appearance of such un-civic behavior. This can take some time and is a major reason for, you know, the constipation.
  2. A nasty, horrible self-serving culture of Us v Them that has been fostered for too long and has, obviously, reached a breaking point. This problem sits fairly and squarely with the mayor. Full stop. FYI, you are driving VH employees over the edge w/your ‘needs.’ They would be forever grateful if you would concern yourself w/your day job and so they could do theirs.
  3. Politics is easy, proper governance is hard work, and y’all are confusing the two. Liquor licensing is not particularly complex but zoning is complex, and both are wide-open vulnerable to abuse.

I’d be working full time thru Christmas Eve if I verified all the ‘off the record’ info that has been shared on Slainte’ and Scratch, so I’ll leave it to the verifiers. Stay tuned.

Some will fare better than others.

Tony Calderone has issued a statement about the incredible intricacies of tracking 14 liquor licenses which must be ‘audited’ and ‘researched.’ You know, like you must audit and research the case of beer in your refrigerator. Jaysus.

Mark Hosty is pitching his special secret moral contract with himself to not first or second any ordinance in which he has a conflict of interest, but has no problem voting for/against said conflict of interest. Mark, this secret contract is only meaningful to you and is horse manure voodoo to the rest of us.

Tom Mannix, who also wants to be the next mayor, makes up stuff about the politics of seconding a motion. This is all news to us, and news we absolutely don’t care about. Earnest Tom likes to play neutral but blew his cover on Monday. Oops.

Chris Harris most likely feels unjustly criticized being drawn into this wreck on his Slainte’ vote – I supported his campaign and we are friends. But zoning has an infamous history in this town and legislative votes are not frozen moments in time. Get it.

Rory Hoskins, our veteran in Calderone’s war against everyone who doesn’t adore him, is burnt out. He’s not the first, it’s understandable, but cannot be condoned. Back up on the horse, partner.

Please proceed, village electeds.

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